Questions to ask your mom about her life

Tips for asking

• Start with a place, a meal, or a person.
• Ask for one story, not a whole life.
• The storyteller can skip any question.
• Write down her words as she says them.

Childhood

1. What did a weekday morning look like in the house where you grew up?
2. Which room in that house do you still picture, and what was in it?
3. Who was usually around in the evening, and what did you do?
4. What did you do on a free afternoon when nothing was planned?
5. What was a task around the house that fell to you?
6. What did you pass every day on your street, and who did you notice there?
7. What did you wear on an ordinary day, and how did you get where you were going?
8. What's a small bit of trouble you got into, and how did it end?
9. Who did you spend the most time with then, and what did the two of you do?
10. What did a hot afternoon look like where you lived?
11. What's a birthday, or a small get-together, you still remember?
12. What did you think being grown would feel like?

Food

1. What's a dish you make, or remember, that never tastes quite the same when someone else makes it?
2. What's the first thing you made that you were proud of?
3. Describe a kitchen you knew well. Where did people sit?
4. What's a recipe you could tell from memory? Say it the way you cook it.
5. What did a regular dinner look like in a home you've lived in?
6. What's a meal that went wrong and is funny now?
7. What food takes you straight back to a particular place?
8. What's a dish people ask you to bring, and how did you come to make it?
9. What's a pan, knife, or bowl you still reach for, and what do you use it for?
10. Is there a handwritten recipe you've kept? What does the note say? (Skip if you'd rather.)
11. What did you like to eat when you were small, and where did you usually eat it?
12. If you were feeding people you like having over, what would you put on the table?

Someone who mattered

1. Who is someone you've loved, as a friend, family member, or partner, and how did you first meet?
2. What did you first notice about a close friend when you met?
3. What's a small kindness someone did for you that you still remember?
4. Who could always make you laugh, and what's one thing they did?
5. Describe an afternoon or evening you spent with someone you cared about.
6. What's a gift, letter, or note from someone you loved that you kept?
7. What song, place, or saying reminds you of a person you've cared about?
8. What's a disagreement with someone close to you that you can smile about now? (Skip if you'd rather.)
9. Who did you most want to tell when you had good news, and why them?
10. What's a habit or phrase you picked up from someone you were close to?
11. What did someone you loved teach you without meaning to?
12. What would you tell a young person about keeping a friendship or love going?

Work

1. What was the first job you were paid for, and what did you do with the pay?
2. Pick one job or role. What did an ordinary day look like?
3. Who worked near you, and what was that person like on a busy day?
4. What did you hope to spend your days doing, and what did you end up doing?
5. What's a skill the work forced you to learn?
6. What's a role you were proud of, whether or not it paid?
7. What's a mistake that changed how you did the work afterward? (Skip if you'd rather.)
8. What work did you see adults around you doing, paid or not?
9. What's something you changed your mind about after years of doing it?
10. How did you like to mark the end of a long day?
11. What's a tool, uniform, desk, or counter you still remember?
12. What kind of work do you hope someone who loves you understands?

Holidays

1. What holiday or special occasion did your family make the most of when you were growing up?
2. How did the house get ready the day before a big celebration?
3. What dish showed up at a celebration every year, and who made it?
4. Where did everyone gather for a holiday meal, and where did you sit?
5. What job did you have on a holiday when you were young?
6. What song, prayer, or saying belonged to a holiday you celebrated? (Skip if you'd rather.)
7. Tell about a celebration that did not go to plan.
8. Who were you always glad to see arrive at a family gathering?
9. What's a gift you remember giving or receiving, and why that one?
10. How have the holidays you celebrate changed over the years?
11. What's a small tradition you've kept, and where did it start?
12. What's one holiday custom you'd like the family to keep going?

Places

1. What's a trip you remember clearly? What comes to mind first?
2. Describe a street you knew by heart. What was on the corner?
3. What place felt like home besides the house where you slept?
4. What's a trip that went wrong and turned into a story?
5. What's a place you saw once and could still draw from memory?
6. Where did you go when you wanted an hour to yourself?
7. What's a view you can still see when you close your eyes?
8. On a trip you remember, who went with you, or were you on your own?
9. What did you eat away from your usual table, and where?
10. What's a building you walked into often? What did you do there?
11. What made the place you live now start to feel like yours?
12. What place should someone you love visit, and what should that person look for?

Want it done for you?

Kitchen Table Stories emails one question a week and keeps the answers for the family. These samples are optional. Your family can write their own.

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